Wednesday, January 9, 2013

One Little Word: Facts and Feelings

As we start 2013 and look back on everything that 2012 held, I wanted to talk about my adventure with choosing One Little Word. Last December, I chose 2012 as my year to Sparkle. For 2013, I am choosing another word. Before we get into my intentions for this year, I want to wrap up using the December prompt from Ali Edwards' class.

FACTS AND FEELINGS

It was hard: Once I got over the initial high of incorporating this new intention into my life, a lot of days were hard. The first day of struggling to make myself sparkle despite the crap, it was easier to fail other days.

My expectations started too high: Part of the hardship I had at the beginning of the journey with sparkle was due to the extremely high expectations I have with myself. I needed to let myself be able to fail some days. I needed to let myself have mopey days, especially over the summer. I needed to relax because that was when I really grew.

It was personal: These types of things require a lot of introspection. This journey required me to search deep inside to see if this is what I wanted. This journey also took a lot self discipline. When I looked back on days where I really went back to my Pigpen cloud of crap thoughts, I went further and thought about how my behavior could have eliminated those feelings.

It took faith: Faith in myself to make a positive change. Faith in myself that I was worth the change.

It was frustrating: At times, I felt that it was all for not. At times, I felt the desire to be better, to grow, to sparkle, had vanished. This where faith comes into play.

It was rewarding: Even though it was hard, and personal, and frustrating, it was overwhelmingly rewarding. 2012 was the happiest of my adult life. The journey that I took to sparkle; the journey that I took looking at my actions and the situations I allowed myself to be in resulted in a great reward. This journey gave me the strength and courage to speak out about being treated less than I deserve. My chapter with my hourly job ended and I felt a huge weight lifted off of myself. I felt that the bushel was removed from my light. I felt that desire to really be me again; A shining, crazy, Sparkly me!

It is not over: I really started feeling myself coming into fruition with sparkle in the middle of the year. While I am incredibly happy with the progress I have made, I feel like I can do more.


AS I SAY GOODBYE TO MY WORD THIS YEAR, I WANT TO REMEMBER...

I want to remember that this is a long road and it is not just over that the calendar has flipped to a new year. I want to remember my successes. I want to remember that the outward expression of a sparkling personality has a positive effect on others. I want to remember that life is mostly cyclical and good things come from positive feedback loops.

WHAT ABOUT 2013?

2012 was easily the best year of my life. I want to keep the great feelings, the growth, and happiness of 2012 going in 2013. My word for this year is LIGHT as a verb, a noun and an adjective. I want to be light, be a light, and live with a certain lightness.

Picking this word was easy, but I know that being intentional with it is not going to be easy. If it doesn't feel like work, it isn't going to work. My first step to embracing light is participating in COLOR RUN ARIZONA in 2.5 weeks. We are also working on getting rid of a lot of junk that is sitting in boxes. Lightening Up in 2013.

What about you? Do you choose a word or phrase to live intentionally through?

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