Monday, April 22, 2013

When the Words are Hard

My absence here over the last week was no accident. I completed and scheduled my Project Life post last Monday morning before the bombing happened. Since then, I haven't worked on anything new. For me, it is hard to reconcile the two. For me, there is no harmony in sharing all my happy adventures or just a normal day to day when the current events are so tragic. 

While events like Sandy Hook and hurricanes are devastating, the events this past week have hit me harder and more personally. There was a lot of activity involving first responders i.e.: EMS and Firefighters etc. Berkeley is a first responder and has been an EMT in the past. The destruction between those two events is widely available and I just can't talk about the specifics. Just trying to write about my feelings regarding these two events has me feeling uneasy and my stomach in knots. It makes me nervous, especially with the start of the season for us.

These two things on their own is enough to make me unsettled, but on Monday there was another situation that unnerved me. I tried to be stoic about it, but I was really fooling myself. Around 12 pm MST, just about 20 minutes after the bombs in Boston detonated, two Forest Service employees found a pipe bomb in an area they were surveying for an upcoming project.

For me, this is extremely scary! I've always had other fears regarding Berkeley's safety on assignment, but I have worried about him doing regular work. When he is not assigned to a wildfire, his days are spent doing different projects, just like those two individuals that found the pipe bomb. Thankfully, it was safely dealt with, but when you start playing the "what if" game when current events already have you reeling, let's just say I have not been myself lately.


KelseyLove ToPolka Homolka said...

I completely understand this! I too have been struggling lately!

Ashley Armstrong said...

It is so weird to be so deeply moved by something that has nothing to do with me. I am sure the West Explosion is really rough for you.

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