11 Years today...

Today, you will experience an onslaught of political, patriotic, emotional and probably even some down right idiot posts across all social media about the event that every American knows about. You may even be one of those people posting. This not an attack on those people that do. We all do what we need to to get by, I get it.

Today, I will not be posting these "rousing" statuses of patriotism and valor. I will not be spewing off statuses about where I was 11 years ago today or how I remember what happened. It is not a single day for me. It is not just a date on a calendar that when I look I see September 11th and think "That's the day of the attack" and then brush it off until next year.

Photo taken from September 11 Wiki page

Today is a day I have anxiety over every single year. And although that anxiety is always coupled with hope and drive, this week is always miserable for me. I am not going to rehash out why I have the mixed feelings I have, I posted about the details here already.

Today marks the yearly anniversary of the day I spent thinking my grandparents were dead. I was the girl sitting in every class that day sobbing. Not because I was overly emotional or felt overwhelming sympathy for the victims, but because the images the teachers had on every tv had me wondering if I was watching my grandparents dying. On this day 11 years ago, I was the girl that was being made fun of because everyone thought I was lying. Because ignorant school kids could not understand that someone from California could be vacationing in NYC or that those four planes were all headed to California and the one downed in PA was en route to San Francisco. 11 years ago, this was the week I was a traumatized wreck.

Today, while your posting your annual patriotic bullshit and playing your dumb Facebook "games" about who hurts worse, think about if you were really personally affected. Maybe instead of reposting some political jargon and obligatory social media crap, take the time to think about someone you know that really is hurting. Think about whether your 30-second quip is really helping or hurting those reading it. If you are at all spiritual try praying for someone actually in need of your prayer. Or simply offer support.

Today is not a game. Today is not a competition to see who can post the most significant status update, tweet or instagram. Nor is it a day to see who remembers more about the events of the attacks. You want to remember? Remember the people who lost everything that day, the people that were lost fighting overseas in response to that day, and remember those that have to live with the results from that day the rest of their lives. I was lucky, my family was lucky. So many others were not.